WHUTUP BITCHES, IT'S STARRO

..........oh you betta be shittin' me, bitches

2009-02-11T00:04:00.000-08:00

A MONTH

ONE FRIGGIN' MONTH BITCHES

I'm stuck stayin' low till those cracka Kryptonians get the fuck offa mah planet and what the shit happens? Bitches over at DC do a crapload of books and call 'em da Faces of Evil, and is my sexy ass on any of them? I AM NOTHING BUT A GIANT FACE, BITCHES, WHAT DA FUCK?!?!

Lets do a roll call so I can straighten out jus what kinda racist bullshit is goin' down here zactly.

Aight, this shit, I see. Slade, I dun wanna start shit wit Slade. He'll bend my elbows backwards and shove 'em up my ass through my mouth or some shit. An' I don' even have elbows, so I ain't startin' shit with him.
Aight, fine, whatevs. I mean, I get you wanna push yur man Prometheus cause he used to be tough shit and he turned all pussy when Hush came to town. But y'know, bitch here lost on his first outing jus cause he forgot to where a cup. All I'm sayin'
.....really? You gonna push this dude back on us? Look, I know I wus gone for a month but man, I was underground. You coulda just sent me an email on dem dere internets, is all I'm sayin'.
Fuck, man, this dudes sole power is to make convoluted plotlines that don even pay off. I AM A MUTHAFUKKIN STARFISH. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED, BITCHES.
DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THESE KRYPTONIAN BITCHES.
.........ok, fuck ya'll. I see how this shit is.

This is all I have to say, bitches.

I AM STARRO

I AM A MUTHAFUKKIN' STARFISH FROM SPACE.

I AM A CONQUEROR, AND I WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP

ANY FUKKIN' QUESTIONS, BITCHES?

Muthfuckas. Anarky? You gunna overlook da Conqueror for some V For Vendetta wannabe?

Christ, no wonder your sales are always behind Marvels. I still ain't goin' over there cause next thing you know, Mark Millar gunna be havin' me eat peoples brains from out there asses or some shit like dat. But fuck.

Tha's a whole lotta white people

2009-01-01T19:22:00.000-08:00

FUCK man, been on the run non-stop the past friggin month. Those fuggin' cracka Kryptonians are all up in my shit. Seriously, I'm more like a 'entire universe' sorta threat, not just a straight up Superman threat. And lemme tell you there is no booze in the Phantom Zone so FUCK if I'm letting them throw my enchino self back in there.

An' what the hellz man? I'm gone most of a month and Santa straight up skip me? Ain't no service in the Phantom Zone? FUCK DAT, I THOUGHT YO ASS WAS MAGIC. Fat man's a racist, yo.

GAWDAMMIT

2008-12-13T10:23:00.000-08:00

Still.......still workin' on dis transmogrifyin' shit.........

THA'S RIGHT, AHM EVERYWHERE SUCKAS

2008-12-08T18:59:00.001-08:00

BETCHA DIDN' KNOW I COULD DO DAT, HUH?!?

Well shit, neither did I, actually.

Uh.....oh snap, think I'm stuck......ah.....well

Dis transmogrifyin' shit be harder than Starro initially thought

Man, SCREW Coast City

2008-12-04T02:03:00.000-08:00

Y'know.....seriously? Giant green boxing gloves? What the FUCK is wit dat shit? I didn't even make it to....whatever the hell I wus gunna attack, that's how bad the starfish profilin' is in that city. Never mind that I WAS gunna attack and conquer the assdouches, that racist muthafucker attacked the moment he saw me crossin' the street. And sheeeeyit, I wasn't even steppin' on no one or anything like that.

Who da fuck do I get to call, huh? ACLU? No, those bitches just tell me to call the ASPCA. THE FUCKIN' ASPCA.

Sheeeeeeeeeeyit. And by the time I try to petition those little blue lollipop guild bastards, they gunna have yellow and red rings flyin' out their asses, so good luck gettin' a court date.

.....Hair.....

2008-12-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

Yeah YEAH Satan and mah starfish peeps totally gonna mess up Thor and WHOA HAIR

Starro....Starro ain't gonna get involved with that one, you little demon starfish go on ahead and lather up the naked dude, Imma gonna go and uh, invade Coast City or some shit.

Starro.....Starro ain't sure he wants to conquer you humans no more...

2008-12-03T18:42:00.000-08:00

Starro is confused yet.....cannot look away.........

AH man that stuff in the back look good, and those othe---AHHHHHH

2008-12-03T18:21:00.000-08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK MAN WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!??! WHAT THE HOLYSHITFUCK YA THINK YOU'RE DOIN'!?!??! I DON'T COME HERE TO EAT YOU ASSHOLES, I'M JUST HERE TO CONQUER!!!!!!!!!!
OH THAT IS IT IT'S ON NOW BITCHES, AIN'T NO ONE GONNA CRISPY FRY STARRO, AIN'T NO WAY NO HOW!!!!!!!!!!!

...........HUH

2008-12-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, if you had told da Conqueror he woulda had his tentacles handed to him by someone named 'Bobo' some day, he woulda called you a disrespectin' sack o' shit....now....now not so much.....

Oh, and Shade? YOU ON DA LIST, YA MUTHAFUCKIN' SHADOWY PUNK.

Tha's right suckas, IMMA DELICIOUS COOKIE TOO

2008-12-02T22:03:00.001-08:00

Mmm mm good and sexy as hell, baby. You best be givin' me a try, cause if there's one thing all the ladies agree is that I'm sweet, baby.

'CEPT YOU JUSTICE LEAGUE DOUCHEBAGS. Fuck it, imma gonna go attack Opal city or sum shit, they can't possibly have as many punkass assholes there.

You got something on your face, OH SNAP IT'S ME

2008-12-01T19:29:00.000-08:00

Yeah YEAH YEAH YEAH tha's what the fuck I'm talking 'bout! Those douchefaces came a'lookin' cause their whiney little punk ass teeny boppers thought it would be fun, and what they get? BAM, ME YA BITCHES, IN YOUR FACE ON YOUR FACE!!!

Lesson for the day? When Starro wants a cold ass beer, you best be gettin' out of his way, cause da Conqueror will conquer dat ass baby. Yeah YEAH YEAH YEAH.

Ugh

2008-12-01T17:10:00.000-08:00

Gawdamned Teen Titans and their gawdamned teeny bopper interferin' ways. Starro swears, some cosmic sized ass-kickin' on its way, can guarantee that shit.

Jus' like Wu-Tang, Starro the Conqueror ain't nuthin' to fuck wit. Specially cause I WAS JUS' ON MY MUTHAFUCKIN' WAY TO THE GROCERY FOR SOME FUCKIN' BEER. And this is why you damn monkeys are all doomed, yeah. CAUSE A STARFISH CAN'T FUCKIN' GET NO BEER WITHOUT BEIN' PROFILED AND JUMPED.

Sheeeeeeeyit.

AWWWWS YEAH

2008-11-30T04:48:00.000-08:00

YO YO YO YO, we be kicking this off old school! Tha's right, back in the day my bruthas an' sistas! Sheeeeeeyit those punks started gettin' all up in my bizness from the very start! Howz a fine tentacled playa like myself supposed to get any Conquerin' done wit all dis noise? Dat's right, Conquerin' wit a capital C cause when dis starfish puts his tentacle down IT'S DONE. AIN'T NO MORE TO BE SAID.

And best not be mentionin' no Snapper Carr to me. I see that $@%* and there gonna be words. Starro gonna have to choke a bitch, and no question who dat bitch be. Beat me with what, bitch? freakin' lime? MY PURPLE AND BLUE NON-EXISTENT @$$.
Take more then some gawdamned lime to beat the Conqueror, punks, you soon learn dat.

PEACE

.......AFTER, Y'KNOW......I CONQUER....YA'LL.......

SHUT UP.