..........oh you betta be shittin' me, bitches

A MONTH

ONE FRIGGIN' MONTH BITCHES

I'm stuck stayin' low till those cracka Kryptonians get the fuck offa mah planet and what the shit happens? Bitches over at DC do a crapload of books and call 'em da Faces of Evil, and is my sexy ass on any of them? I AM NOTHING BUT A GIANT FACE, BITCHES, WHAT DA FUCK?!?!

Lets do a roll call so I can straighten out jus what kinda racist bullshit is goin' down here zactly.

Aight, this shit, I see. Slade, I dun wanna start shit wit Slade. He'll bend my elbows backwards and shove 'em up my ass through my mouth or some shit. An' I don' even have elbows, so I ain't startin' shit with him.
Aight, fine, whatevs. I mean, I get you wanna push yur man Prometheus cause he used to be tough shit and he turned all pussy when Hush came to town. But y'know, bitch here lost on his first outing jus cause he forgot to where a cup. All I'm sayin'
.....really? You gonna push this dude back on us? Look, I know I wus gone for a month but man, I was underground. You coulda just sent me an email on dem dere internets, is all I'm sayin'.
Fuck, man, this dudes sole power is to make convoluted plotlines that don even pay off. I AM A MUTHAFUKKIN STARFISH. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED, BITCHES.
DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THESE KRYPTONIAN BITCHES.
.........ok, fuck ya'll. I see how this shit is.

This is all I have to say, bitches.

I AM STARRO

I AM A MUTHAFUKKIN' STARFISH FROM SPACE.

I AM A CONQUEROR, AND I WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP

ANY FUKKIN' QUESTIONS, BITCHES?

Muthfuckas. Anarky? You gunna overlook da Conqueror for some V For Vendetta wannabe?

Christ, no wonder your sales are always behind Marvels. I still ain't goin' over there cause next thing you know, Mark Millar gunna be havin' me eat peoples brains from out there asses or some shit like dat. But fuck.

Tha's a whole lotta white people

FUCK man, been on the run non-stop the past friggin month. Those fuggin' cracka Kryptonians are all up in my shit. Seriously, I'm more like a 'entire universe' sorta threat, not just a straight up Superman threat. And lemme tell you there is no booze in the Phantom Zone so FUCK if I'm letting them throw my enchino self back in there.

An' what the hellz man? I'm gone most of a month and Santa straight up skip me? Ain't no service in the Phantom Zone? FUCK DAT, I THOUGHT YO ASS WAS MAGIC. Fat man's a racist, yo.

GAWDAMMIT

Still.......still workin' on dis transmogrifyin' shit.........

THA'S RIGHT, AHM EVERYWHERE SUCKAS

BETCHA DIDN' KNOW I COULD DO DAT, HUH?!?

Well shit, neither did I, actually.

Uh.....oh snap, think I'm stuck......ah.....well

Dis transmogrifyin' shit be harder than Starro initially thought

Man, SCREW Coast City

Y'know.....seriously? Giant green boxing gloves? What the FUCK is wit dat shit? I didn't even make it to....whatever the hell I wus gunna attack, that's how bad the starfish profilin' is in that city. Never mind that I WAS gunna attack and conquer the assdouches, that racist muthafucker attacked the moment he saw me crossin' the street. And sheeeeyit, I wasn't even steppin' on no one or anything like that.

Who da fuck do I get to call, huh? ACLU? No, those bitches just tell me to call the ASPCA. THE FUCKIN' ASPCA.

Sheeeeeeeeeeyit. And by the time I try to petition those little blue lollipop guild bastards, they gunna have yellow and red rings flyin' out their asses, so good luck gettin' a court date.

.....Hair.....

Yeah YEAH Satan and mah starfish peeps totally gonna mess up Thor and WHOA HAIR


Starro....Starro ain't gonna get involved with that one, you little demon starfish go on ahead and lather up the naked dude, Imma gonna go and uh, invade Coast City or some shit.

Starro.....Starro ain't sure he wants to conquer you humans no more...

Starro is confused yet.....cannot look away.........